26.11.07

wishlist!!! haha!

christmas is in the air! im craving for so many things, heck! this is a quick run down of things i want to have this christmas. *wink,wink*

  • witch of portobello by paulo coelho
  • 5th avenue by elizabeth arden
  • ipod touch! my old one looks too darn crappy already
  • shu uemura make-up
  • clinique blush-on
  • a nice sweater, jacket or cardigan
  • a new pc. hehe
  • a mac powerbook
  • a new flips.
  • i want to have a six-pack!
  • hip hop abs! i need this to have a six pack! hehe
  • kitchen confidential dvd's
  • a sony cybershot digicam
  • a videocam
  • a really cute dress
  • a cute long-chained necklace
  • gossip girl dvd's
  • grey's anatomy dvd's
  • a really cute bookmark(the stainless ones are way way nice. :D)
  • ugly betty dvd's
  • heroes dvd's!!!
  • a new phone!!! preferably without a flashlight. haha!
  • books books and more books!!!
  • uhm....
  • i think that would be all...
  • oh wait...i almost forgot...
  • WORLD PEACE AND ERADICATION OF POVERTY AND HUNGER!

i really mean the last part. seriously. :D

24.11.07

what do you do when you suddenly feel apathetic? like, when you're with your friends and you suddenly feel like you don't belong and all the faces you see around you are faces of strangers who are trying so hard to make you feel like you fit in, when in fact, you really don't.

are you gonna cry or are you gonna try to smile, though you're totally crushed?

i did the latter.

i know its darn stupid of me to think that my friends are faking everything whenever they're with me, but i just can't get the darn feeling off my head. or heart. or whatever. they're just trying to make me feel better, i know, but it just feels like, i dunno! i feel even more morose when my friends try to make me do something for the sake of doing something. just because they're having fun, doesn't mean i have to feel the same, right?

i hate feeling so sad all the time! i'm not doing it by choice, it just pops in the weirdest of times.

i wish i'd stop feeling this way. it's too darn pathetic, feeling out of place all the time.

i just what to find a place where i can truly fit in, where i can truly be myself, without pretensions, whatsoever.

i just want to belong.

17.11.07

i feel ok. no rants. there's really not much to complain about. everything went well today - no bad feeling. it feels damn great. *sigh*

who am i kidding?!! i'm bored! where have all my freakin' contentment go?!

i ate too much today. i feel so bloated, i haven't taken a crap for 2 days. i feel like barfing. bleuch!

16.11.07

why do you have to be such an asshole? i really don't get you! i really hate you sometimes. you're way too much for me.

and i don't get myself either, coz dammit! i miss you so! i don't know what i'd do anymore, you're in my freakin head everytime, and damn the fucking circumstances! it always makes me think of you.

what you did really pissed me off but after some time, for some stupid reason, i realized that i don't really care. that's just you, and what you did - you just showed me that that's all i am to you. you're friend.

---


to the girl who currently annoys the life out of me: SHUT UP!

14.11.07

you looked my way but didn't really see
you heard my voice but didn't really listen
you touch my hand but you didn't really feel
[writer's block]

quote of the day:

waiting for someone you love is never easy. it may even be irrelevant, especially when the one you're waiting for isn't aware that you're waiting.

13.11.07

i saw you, and then i just wondered if you...forget it.

we all live in a world full of lies. you are just one big secret lie. i hate that i have to keep you(?). i so want you out. but i know i just couldn't, at least not for now.

everything's gon' be right again.

----

ancute talaga! ampepe naman oh! magshift ka na nga ng ece! haha!

12.11.07

ever felt like...

you hear a certain song and the moment you hear its melody you just can't help falling in love with it and by the time you hear the words, you're already addicted. not just that, whenever you hear it, you just feel an unexplainable connection with the song, as if it was written just for you and you just know in your heart that it's yours and no one else owns it or is allowed to own it.

you become selfish. you feel a certain sense of pride, pride in knowing that you have something written ever so beautifully just for you. then you start feeling that you're better than everyone else just because you feel that the song is yours and you're the only one who knows it.

and then...

on a very rare day that you decide to open your dusty old radio, it's there. your song. playing on the radio. top5 or 3 or 2 or even 1. you're mind blurs and you start feeling betrayed, like something so important was stolen from you. you become sad and lonely, and you wallow in the bitterness of knowing that soon, everyone will be singing you're song. still, you sing.

then you hear it. a melody, a new melody. your song. your new song. bad feeling gone. you remind yourself that no one is better than anyone. YOU are not better than any one. you're all the same, you can own everything. a song can be everybody's song. not just your's, definitely not just his, it's everyone's. you all can conquer the world, even if it's unbearably light and heavy at the same time. you smile (or pout). YOUR SONG. yea.

the cycle repeats. never ending. it's what keeps you sane.

it's what keeps ME sane.

11.11.07

you know what really suck? its when you want to really help someone but you really can't do anything. haay naku.

----

went out with my friends last night. it wasn't all that coz it's not exactly the 'gimik' we wanted, but twas fun. we get to talk and walk. a lot. twas already past 3am when i got home and i slept at about 5. i can't stop thinking about "the high school buddy". he's so cute dammit! haay!

8.11.07

i've a new dress,,,or blouse,,,or mini-dress...wudebur! i lurve it! can't wait to wear it! hehe

7.11.07

how come you dont....

not even a single....

for some reason that's totally alien to me, it hurts, just so you know...

i know i've told myself a gazillion times that it's just the ss syndrome, but i still can't get over the freakin tingling feeling inside this unbelievably huge stomach of mine. you just have this certain something that makes me,,,i dunno...blush, i guess...shiznit?!

darn! i really have to get over this!

btw, 2nd sem just started, i hope it rocks our freakin ass off! in a good way, i mean. hehe.

edited at 11.23pm. hehe.

why are books way too expensive. usually, the nice ones are the more expensive ones and it really suck. i lurve them books. i want them books. too bad i'm broke. damn sembroke.