31.5.08

blublablublablublablublablublablublablublablubla.

nyek.


















im not missin' you. :|

28.5.08

this is new.

sunshiny much?

i know. i kinda like it. :D

24.5.08

i have to lie. i have to. i know they'll understand but i just have to.
parang ayoko na talaga. parang all i want to do is to take pictures with my dad's old cam and read books. wutchatink? good idea much?
hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit ngaun ko lang napagiisip na ayoko na magaral kung kailan too late na.

20.5.08

........


bwisit.


5 days converted to 1. galeng noh?!


saya eh. la tuloy ako finals sa socio.


lib ako. nagaaral ng socio.


damn! galeng no?!!!!


walang kwenta.

18.5.08

punyeta ka!!!! how could you!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you're pathetic!!!!!!!!!!!!! are you so desperate that you have to do that, to ME of all people?!!! what gave you the fucking idea that you could do that disgusting thing to me?!!!!!!!!! putangina talaga!!!! i've never felt so fucking scared and violated since the manong jeepney incident!!!!!!!! you are a very sick, disgusting person and i dunno how you could ever live with yourself after what you've done! if it wasn't very very cold, the whole pillow would've been dripping wet from my tears! gago ka!



PUTANGINA KA TALAGA!!!!!!!! I HOPE YOUR CONSCIENCE EAT YOU, YOU GOOD FOR NOTHING PERVERT!!!!!!!!!

7.5.08

naloloka na ko. figure out why.

and it's not what you think. grrrr.

6.5.08

odd dream. very odd indeed.

a very late me at a HS reunion, two pregnant lesbos one of which is aiza zeguerra i think, me eating a what it seems like shredded cheese during the old english days, and a bunch of other things that i can vaguely remember.

aiun.

4.5.08

im back to where i once were. i never thought this feeling would be back this fast.

.........

uhm,.

have you ever felt sad without knowing why you were sad? you're sad to the point where it becomes so frustrating cause you don't know why you're sad. i had an emotional breakdown in the bathroom, yet again.

it all started after i was done reading this book and i was left with nothing to do. i was staring at something without really staring at it, then i suddenly felt sad. just like that. i felt the tears welling up in my eyes.

i thought i was over this phase. obviously i was wrong.

as always, i grabbed my copy of veronika decides to die. i scanned through its pages and read my favorite passages(?). it's that book that keeps me together when i feel like shattering to millions of pieces. i savored every words, making my brain absorb its message.

i let the feeling go. i didn't want to hold on to it. i didn't need it. i have to let it go coz if i don't it'll just lead to apathy. i don't like feeling nothing. it's as if im empty, as if my whole existence means nothing. so i let the sadness go.

let go

let go

let go

let go

fuck.

2.5.08

loving is when you just want the best for that person, whether it includes you or not.

im perfectly happy for you. im worried bout your crap, though. you shut me out, left here, pondering. i don't understand but you that's what you want. still, i am happy for you. so, does that mean that i...no.

NO.

understand much? no? good.