im on dial-up. old school.

just have to say this.

"you don't give me the chills anymore."




ang saya! i had so much fun today. so fun and tiring at the same time. see, we went to Manila Zoo to shoot for our project in stupid ENE. we were assigned to do something about wastewater and what's a perfect place to shoot other than THE Manila Zoo? with all the murky and stinky water surrounding the place, it's picture perfect! lols.

twas my first time to go to that place, and boy was i thrilled. really! even though i know that i'll be arriving at a pretty "stinky" place, literally. don't get me wrong, the zoo's nice with all the animals and greeneries (e.g. ugat puno's), it just really stink. it's really nice in a wow-a-park-right-in-the-middle-of-the-city kind of way.

we toured the whole park and took shots for our project, which really was the reason why we're there in the first place; and for the documentation of the whole experience.

brain nugget: no matter how stinky a place is, as long as with you're friends and you're in a good mood, it'll still be fun and surely an experience that'll have a place in your album of memories. (naks!)

after a lot of laughs and a barrel of sweat (read: jabar-licious. eww!), we went to Manila Bay. it wasn't a really fun experience, seeing all the kids and adults alike swim in a bay full of garbage. it breaks my heart, although i don't exactly know why, i mean they look like they were having fun but somehow i couldn't help getting sad. ayun. we spent just a few minutes taking some videos.

and then we had to eat.

we all decided to eat at robinson's place, as it was the nearest mall within the area. jc suggested that we walk coz according to him, it'll just be a "few" minute's walk, which erwin seconded. we tried to protest coz it was scorching hot (read: 11 am. kainitan) but eventually we receded and went on walking.

bad move.

we shouldn't have agreed to walk. the mall was like kilometers away from where we was. it was so stupid of us to brave the streets of manila at that time of day. it was so hot (again, read: jabar-licious. asar!) by the time we got to the mall it was almost 12 noon, imagine, 30 mins of walking in the sun!!! it was torture! a fun torture. we were laughing the whole time. laughing at our stupid selves for walking from bay walk all the way to rp.

we decided then to eat at tokyo tokyo. unlimited rice+uber growling stomachs+uber tired college students=SULIT. sarap. i've had a cup and a half of rice and the others had 5. hahaha! i kid. i kid. i wasn't counting how many cups of rice each of us ate, i was to busy eating to even do that!

then off to marvin's place to rest and watch 5a's game. they lost big time to the third years. the game was a joke, but twas fun. tonky played for our section for the first time. rjay and anthony were also on our team. riot. lols.

i went home after the game. i was fo effin tired. so so tired. and uninspired. lols. basta it was really really fun to the umpteenth power! woohoo!

still have to wake up early tomorrow, there's still a lot of editing and voice-overing to do. gotta go's cheeri-o's!

PS: i saw the perfect twilight this afternoon. i was really awestrucked. it was the perfect twilight sky i've ever seen so far. the sky's just a perfect mix of blue and orange with hints of yellow and red. it was so so beautiful. i was at the front row of the fx when i saw the beautiful scene. it's like a plane was dividing the sky into 2 parts. dividing in a perfectly staight but slantly vertical way. the lower side was still orange-y and yellow while the other was blue blending to a dark blue. really really beautiful. i've never seen the sky being divided that way before. that's why i just have to blog it. i wonder if anyone has seen it except me? is someone looking at the same sky as me? okay i gotta go before i turn emo. ta-ta!


hoy blueeagleswannabenaarchersnaman! if you think i miss you, you're dead wrong! if you think i'll be the one to buzz you, you're wrong again! di kita namimiss! mamiss mo muna ko! hmph!
ales na dad ko bugas. i won't even get to see him off. darn school. it'll be another year, or maybe more, til we see each other. hirap naman.

i totally forgot about the bad day i had yesterday when i remembered that it's wednesday, just 2 days before friday. ngayon, hours na lang. mukang iiyak na naman ako bukas. don't know why i never get used to it. asar.



ive three analog cams and i dont know which one is the best for "lomo". i don't know if i'll get the same effects as holga's and diana's, but hey, there's no harm in trying right? gotta buy b&w films and some slide films. asar, sana madame pera. gusto ko talaga. hehe. cool eh. kaso mahal ng films and pag process ng prints. need cash talaga! amf!
like this song. sweet. nice.

Konstantine - something corporate

I can't imagine all the people that you know
and the places that you go
When the lights are turned down low
and I don't understand all the things you've seen
but I'm slipping in between
You and your big dreams
It's always you
In my big dreams
And you tell me that its over
wake up lying in a patch of four leaf clovers
and your restless
and im naked
you gotta get out
you cant stand to see me shakin
could u let me go?
I didnt think so
and you dont wanna be here in the future
so you say the presents just a pleasant,
interuption to the past
and you dont wanna look much closer
'cause you're afriad to find out all this hope
you had sent into the sky by now had
and it did
because of me

and then you bring me home
afraid to find out that your alone oh
and im sleeping in your living room
but we dont have much room to live

and I had these dreams in them I learned to play guitar
maybe cross the country
become a rock star
and there was hope in me that I could take you there
but damnit you're so young
well I dont think i care
and if I hurt you
then I'm sorry
please dont think that this was easy

and then you bring me home
cause we both know what its like to be alone oh
and I'm dreaming in your living room
but we dont have much room to live

and konstantine is walking down the stairs
doesnt she look good
standing in her underware
and I was thinking
what I was thinkin
we've been drinkin and it doesnt get me anywhere
my konstantine came walking down the stairs
and all that I could do was touch her long blond hair
and I've been thinkin
but it hurts me thinking
that these nights when we were drinking
no they never got us anywhere

this is because I can spell confusion with a 'K'
and I can like it
its to dying in anothers arms
and why I had to try it
it's to jimmy eat world
and those nights in my car
when the first star you see
may not be a star
I'm not your star
isn't that what you said
what you thought this song meant

and if this is what it takes
just to lie with my mistakes
and live with what i did to you
all the hell I put you through
I always catch the clock
its 11:11
now you wanna talk
its not hard to dream
you'll always be my konstantine
my konstantine
they'll never hurt you like I do
no,no,no,no, no, no, no, no, no

this is to a girl
who got into my head
with all the pretty things she did
ya know
you keep me up in bed
this is to a girl
who got into my head
with all these f**ked up things i did
baby you could keep me up in bed
my konstanine

you spin around me like a dream
we played out on this movie screen
and I said
did u know i missed you(x7)
I miss you

and then you bring me home
and we go to sleep
but this time not alone, no
and you'll kiss me in your living room
I know
I know you miss me in your living room
'cause these nights I think
maybe that I miss you in my living room
but we dont have much room
I said does anybody need that room
because we all need a little more room
to live

my konstantine...
aalis na ulit daddy ko. malapit na. this friday na. emo days and emo nights again. so sad.


may kalyo na ko. i've a 5-hour break today and guess what i did to fill those hours? eh di nagsulat. may kalyo na nga eh. lab reports, assignments, notes and doodles. lol. sakit balikat ko. i feel like im gon' get sick pa, pano ba naman, maiinit tapos biglang lalamig tapos maiinit ulet. maiinit sa labas tapos sa lib naman sobrang lamig. yep,you read that right. lib. that's my new hang-out na eh. you know, im being studious and all na. haha!


ang sipag ko magpost today. eh ang dami ko pang gagawin tapos puro eto inaatupag ko. ewan. grabe. i really need to stay focus. i wonder what meds do i need to take to keep me from doing something that's not part of what im planning to do. is there such thing as focus meds? lol. that's me - namomroblema. can't seem to figure out how to stay focused. tae. meron ata akong adhd. that's attention deficit hyper disorder, in case you don't know. aaaahhhh!!!!! gotta go na nga!
for some strange reason which i've no idea of, i really really love this song. must be the melody. it's damn catchy.

The lights out,

I still hear the rain,
These images that fill my head,
Now keep my fingers from making mistakes,
Tell my voice what it takes,
To speak up,
Speak up,
and keep my conscience clear when I wake.

Don't make this easy,
I want you to mean it,
Jasey. (say you mean it)
You're dressed to kill,
I'm calling you out, (don't waste your time on me)

Now there's an aching in my back;
a stabbing pain that says I lack,
the common sense and confidence,
to bring an end to promises,
that I make in times of desperate conversation,
hoping my night could be better than theirs in the end.
Just say when.

Don't make this easy,
I want you to mean it,
Jasey. (say you mean it)
You're dressed to kill,
I'm calling you out, (don't waste your time on me)

I've never told a lie,
and that makes me a liar,
I've never made a bet,
but we gamble with desire,
I've never lit a match,
with intent to start a fire,
but recently the flames,
are getting out of control.
Call me a name,
Kill me with words,
Forget about me,
It's what I deserve,
I was your chance,
to get out of this town,
but I ditched the car,
and left you to,

Wait outside,
I hope the air will serve to remind you,
that my heart is as cold as the clouds of your breath,
and my words are as timed as the beating in my chest.

-all time low
jasey rae
In this picture
From a distant day
When I could safely say
Nothing in this world could tear me down in any way
But like a dream,
You disapeared,
Without a sound without a trace.

It's the last thing I want
But it's all that I've got
It's the last thing I need
But I still carry you in my heart,
In my heart.

-daphne loves derby
Hoping for the best just hoping nothing happens
A thousand clever lines unread on clever napkins
I will never ask if you don't ever tell me
I know you well enough to know you'll never love me
Why can't I feel anything
from anyone other than you?
Why can't I feel anything
from anyone other than you?

And all of this was all your fault
And all of this

-taking back sunday
cute without the e

found this on deviant art. i just fell in love with this poem, it's really beautiful.

thorns by studentofdust

You want to be beautiful, you don't want to be wise
You want to be perfect in everyone's eyes
Disgusted with the way life's been treating you
You're not even living- death's got its cold grip on you

Aging and bleeding, tears falling- you're crying
Skin wrinkled and cold- can't you see that you're dying?

You love living so much, you're willing to die for it
But do you love death- are you willing to fight for it?
Sever the bonds that tie you to the earth
Accept your crown of thorns- you won't be the first

Wrap yourself in silk- you're perfect on the outside
Hide the fact that your heart and soul have already died
You act like you don't have a fear in the world
Don't want to carry the colors, though they're already unfurled

Lovely and beautiful- everyone's fooled
But not the One who looks down and sees everything true

Suffering, in anguish- now everyone sees
Lay down and die now- you're no better than these
Who have lived before you have and died all the same
They've died with honor- all you've got is shame
i think there was an earthquake this morning. no, im almost sure it was an earthquake. everyone that's sitting around me looked up at the same time. i was in the library, by the way. it can't be the girl who stood up. she can't possibly shake the whole study area of the second floor. lol.

my eyes hurt. i keep on yawning but there's still no tears coming out. damn these eyes. masakit na nga, it's giving me a headache pa. tae naman oh.


roger federer lost to rafael nadal.

oh rafa! how could you do that to my uncle roger! rafa my papa!


oh well, twas the most exciting tennis game i have ever watch in my whole 21 years on earth. the match lasted for 4hours (or more) and got suspended twice because of downpours. 4 hours! no dull moments, i swear. federer could've won that game, maybe he just got too tired.

rafa deserved it. they both do, actually. they're both good. i mean, they're only the world's number 1 and 2. they're 2 of the best tennis players of our time!

congrats to rafa my papa!

what good is a heart if it shudders to speak.

shit. that hit me. big time. right in the middle. see the hole it made? where? right here? ouch.
this suck.

yea. big time.



i hate that i miss you.

and that you don't.

i probably don't even cross your thoughts.

not even for a sec.

you're in mine most of the time.

just thought i'd blurt that out.

most but not all.

i hate you.

damn. i really do.

but whatever.

sense or without sense, i don't care.

im here. you're there.

that's all there is to it.

even if i want more.

that's all it's gon' be.

that's all we'll ever be.
wala talagang consideration ang mga tao dito sa subdivision na to. past one o'clock na, kung matino kang tao, you wouldn't knock on your sleeping neighbor's CLOSED store/house just to buy red horse. unbelievable. talaga naman, para lang masatisfy ang tawag ng alcohol sa katawan, they'd rather wake us up than wait til tomorrow. mga alcoholic na mukang adik. if only i have lots of money, i'd transfer my family to some place where people are considerate of their neighbors. pucha kase eh. this is not the only time. but then again, i should be glad we even have our own place.


anyhoo, i finally got the chance to go to enchanted kingdom! woohoo!!! after so many years! finally!!! it was so much fun, i get to spend the day with my cousins and nieces and nephews. fun, fun, fun yesterday was! thanks for the free tix ate shy! :D


still fluttering.

dayumn! when will this end?!


my heart is fluttering. yea. my heart, not my stomach. shit. i hate you. you always do this. tae! now, i can't stop thinking about you. tae!


masakit ulo.


don't know why.

masakit mata.

probably from too much reading.

and too much day dreaming.