31.10.08

i can't stop laughing!!! rofl!!!!

this is the funniest mythbusters ever!!! it was banned by the discovery channel after airing it. stupid move if you ask me.

i still can't get over it. im can't stop laughing!!!! just watch.

yea, yea. im a complete dork, i know. haha!

30.10.08

mythbusters love.

im a total geek and i love it. i love mythbusters. check this out, just one of the many things to love about the show.

quote.


Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like.

-Will Rogers

---

i totally agree. truth be told, im like that at times too. fuck right?

this is a thousand times better than twilight.

i hate how twilight is being orchestrated. i mean it's ok, but it's not that good (in my opinion. no haters please). i liked the book. i dunno about the movie, i watched the trailer and im still ho-hum about it. maybe because robert pattison as edward cullen just doesn't impress me much. when i read the book, the person that popped in my head as edward was hayden christensen. william beckett dropped in second. william looks like the perfect vampire, all pasty and stuff, but i think hayden would pull it off much better. hehe. maybe if i watch the full movie i'll get a change of heart. maybe. but i doubt it. hehe.

ugh! i want to watch some serious horror movie! too bad let the right one in isn't available online yet. hmm.

the breaking away


-the breaking away-

your ghost towers above my head.
hovering.
lingering.
barely touching.

i feel your breath at the back of my neck.
cold.
warm.
stinging my entirety.

your eyes are boring through my soul.
dark.
empty.
a stranger's glance.

your ghost it floats further away.
gone.
free.
never looking back.

-10.29.2008 ; 12.30am

29.10.08

we should have kids like these here in the Phillip of Pines

28.10.08

late night rendezvous


-late night rendezvous-

it's raining.
im under the sheets.
i should be sleeping but instead,
here i am thinking of you.
for some unknown reason
thoughts of you flooded my head.
im crying and oh how i wish you could see.
these tears are for those times we've shared,
not that you can remember anyway.
this is the only time i've allowed myself to feel the pain.
yes, it hurts.
but not that much.
im pretty sure you've no idea.
it finally sank in.
you're the cat and i'm the mouse,
no, im the yarn. your yarn.
you get the picture?
you've had your fun.
thank you
for making me feel this hurt.
without it, i would not have felt so alive.
thank you
for unintentionally yanking me out of apathy.
the pain was very much appreciated.
so now,
maybe it's time for you to leave my mind.
please.
let this be goodbye.

-28.19.08 ; 2.44am

---

oh the thoughts that leaked from my head. i surprise myself sometimes. all these weepy stuff are so not me.

[insert silent moment for thoughts here]

uhm, no. weepy is so me. even my friends would definitely agree to that. haha!

im just clueless where these things are coming from. i typed that thing on my cellphone at like 2am. it just rained on me. it kinda creeps me out, all this mushy stuff.

ok, i lied. i know where all these are coming from.

26.10.08

i am becoming a blog whore. but who cares? do you? i don't. im actually lovin it. there's so many things to post. so many things to share. beautiful things are meant to be seen by others. if one have seen something beautiful, that person has the duty to share it. and that's exactly what im doing. who cares if no one looks, i did my part. and this is my blog, by the way. i post what i want, when i want, how often i want. we clear? hehe. hugs to everyone!

25.10.08

another beautiful one.

if you forget me.

I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine

- Pablo Neruda

very nice.

but probably not.

I am broken.
I need to be held, touched, reminded that I exist.

I don’t think anything we did ever mattered as much as I remembered it did.
I don’t even think you ever held my hand.
Maybe I would be OK now, if you had.

by sleepanddream

yea!


Nothing dries sooner than tears. Life can never promise to be always happy, but life gets better after you accept things you can’t change…

— unknown

People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that’s bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they’re afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they’re wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It’s all in how you carry it. That’s what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you’re letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.

Jim Morrison


If you’re really listening, if you’re awake to the poignant beauty of the world, your heart breaks regularly. In fact, your heart is made to break; its purpose is to burst open again and again so that it can hold ever-more wonders.

— Andrew Harvey, The Return of the Mother


I’ve learned in my lifetime so far that you can’t help who you fall for and no matter how hard you try and how much it hurts you everyday that you just wanna be with them or just talk to them you never stop trying to make them happy by the little things you say or do because thats what makes your life worth going on for.

Unknown
Unless you have been very, very lucky, you have undoubtedly experienced events in your life that have made you cry. So unless you have been very, very lucky, you know that a good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circumstances have not changed one bit.

— Lemony Snicket
Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language. Do not now look for the answers. They cannot now be given to you because you could not live them. It is a question of experiencing everything. At present you need to live the question. Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer, some distant day.

— Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet.
Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible.

— Carl Jung

don't wanna end up like that...please

been racking my head for days. my cousins got me really bothered. so it runs in both side of my family. so what? does it mean i'll end up like that too? heck no!

shit! i don't fucking know. i hope to everything that's good that i don't. please oh please!

details next time. shit!

If you’re quiet, you’re not living. You’ve got to be noisy and colorful and lively.

- mel brooks



hell yea!

24.10.08

i wasn't too sleepy afterall...

saw this photo yesterday and it got me all tingly and excited. it looks...uhm, gut-tearing. like your gut is being pulled out of your whole system. it also looks soul-snatching. i dunno if i could take this ride. id like to try. as long as it's fast and not like the fucking anchor's away ride in enchanted kingdom, i think it'll be fine. or not. i think not. haha.




ps: ANCHOR'S AWAY SUCK! and what i mean by that is that it has the ability to suck your soul and gut out of you and then right back in. it fuckin' made me teary-eyed the first time i tried it. haha.

oh what fun!

i had the best day with the best people. i love my friends! kinda just got home from enchanted kingdom with my friends (that sound clear?!). had so much fun. i love days like this. i surely want to have more of these happy days in my life. life is so much fun.

im too tired. im sleepy. gotta-go's!
You know, I used to spend everyday thinking about you and dreaming about you. And every time you walked by I lost myself. Do you know what that feels like? You couldn’t possibly know what it feels like to have that person not have the same feelings back. Look, I’m sorry if you miss the way I looked at you, but I don’t miss the way you never looked at me.

— Dawsons Creek


someday, i wish i could say this to you. i wish you'd give me a reason to say this to you. coz i so badly want to tell you just that.
So fail. Be bad at things. Be embarrassed. Be afraid. Be vulnerable. Go out on a limb or two or twelve. You will fall, and it will hurt. But the farther you fall, the higher you will rise. The higher you rise, the clearer your future becomes. Failure is a gift, welcome it. There are people who spend their whole lives wondering how they became the people they became, how certain chances pass them by, why they didn’t take the roads less traveled. Those people aren’t you. You have front row seats to your own transformation and in transforming yourself, you might transform the world. It will be electric, and I promise it will be terrifying. Embrace that; embrace the new person you’re becoming. This is your moment. I promise you, it is now, not two minutes from now, not tomorrow, but really now. Own that, know that deep in your bones, go to sleep every night knowing that, wake up every morning remembering that, and keep going.

-some random persons' blog


i love this. i really do. don't you?

22.10.08

Wait for the person who pursues you, the one who will make an ordinary moment seem magical, the kind of person who brings out the best in you and makes you want to be a better person. Wait for the person who will be your best friend, the only person who will drop everything to be with you at any time no matter what the circumstances, for the person who makes you smile like no one else and when they smile you know they need you. Wait for the person who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweat and a t-shirt, but appreciates it when you get dressed up for them. and most of all wait for the person who will put you at the center of their universe, because that’s where you belong.

-again, from someone i don't know.


im starting to become a blog whore. crap. this is what happens when there's no classes and im left at home to rot. geez.
No matter how powerful and real your feelings may be for someone, if that person cannot fully and honestly return them and therefore actively love you back, these feelings mean nothing.

-someone i don't know


this just about killed me. im worthless piece of crap, is that it?

a really nice, uhm, statement?

I want someone who wants to understand me. I am tired of feeling like always having to understand everyone else, now I want someone who wants to know me. Someone who has scars and bruises and is tired as well, but still laughs at life and the sun and at the silly things. Someone whose hands, no matter how soft or rough, wants to touch slowly and softly. Someone who wants to hear me, who doesn’t want too much for me. Someone who will feel the things I cannot put into words or writing. Someone who wants to see me no matter how fucked up I am. Someone who wants me to listen to them too, to see in their hearts and lay in the sun with the grass blowing around us. Someone who can still dream.

-someone i don't know
That’s the way things come clear. All of a sudden. And then you realize how obvious they’ve been all along.

— Madeleine L’Engle, The Arm of the Starfish, 1965
Whatever you give a woman, she’s going to multiply. If you give her sperm, she’ll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she’ll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she’ll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she’ll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So - if you give her any crap, you will receive a ton of shit.

-unknown.
Ever notice how happy kids don’t write in their diaries very much? They don’t have to. Life’s too fun. Diaries are for when life isn’t fun. They’re for figuring what went wrong.

-lesley arfin


agree much? i do. my journals are so full of shitty stuff. don't know why i don't write about happy things. weird. it should be 'write your happy thoughts and forget the bead ones', right?
You get a little moody sometimes but I think that’s because you like to read. People that like to read are always a little fucked up.

-pat conroy.


ditto! haha.

21.10.08

in the hopes of being a writer...



which by the way, i'll never be. but i still try. you'll never know.


photo credit: pickthebrain

20.10.08

this made me cry.

days with someone's father


click on that.

19.10.08

chubby cuppy cake sam

there's something weird and creepy and cute with this kid. im not even sure if he's still a kid. watch it. you won't be able to stop. xP

i want disqus for my comments now. not that i get any comments, i just want it. but it doesn't work on my template. boo-hoo!

---

song of the day: tonight - fm static

rants.

gawd, im sad again.

hormones - reason why i hate being a girl, sometimes. i seem to have a lot of it.

so people have been asking why i didn't go to rjay's birthday. well, i don't want to see anyone from school. i don't want to talk to anyone from school. i don't want to be there. not when im like this. miserable and bitter. i don't want to see that hypocritical brat. i don't need her fake sympathy. and as i've read from some random blog: i don't need your pity, it's bitter anyway. i don't know why i hate her so much starting that saturday. maybe because i see right through her. her fake sympathy with us all. it kills me. ugh!

im not ready to be surrounded by happiness. i want to be bitter. i want to wallow in my sadness alone. i think i dont want to go there and try to be happy when im clearly so devastated. it's just wrong. i don't want to put on a mask anymore. no more pretensions. i'd like to allow myself to be sad. sad, not depressed. for days. i just want to be left alone. or not.

i hate failing. it's one of the worst feeling in the world. well maybe not the worst. i just really hate it. you won't learn unless you fail? that's bullshit. a big piece of crap. does anybody really believe in that?

*sigh*

back to her. if you all know her, y'all probably dislike her too. ugh. i don't hate her. she's not like that all the time. at times, she's ok. she's just annoying most of the time!!!!! and last wednesday, she was more than annoying!!! ugh!!!! i can't be like that. specially when im sad. i can't pretend to comfort anyone when im feeling really bad myself. and when im ok and someone's not, i don't say too many things to comfort that someone. i'd rather just leave coz i'll think i'll make things worse for that person. lemme rephrase that. i'd rather just leave coz i think i'll make that person even more sad. see how screwed up my brain is? maybe im just not affectionate, i dunno. it's just how i am. i won't apologize for being that way. at least im not hurting anybody like that hypocritical bratinella. am i too not affectionate? don't i care much for my friends? is that how i radiate myself to my friends? coz if it is, that's just sad. coz i love my friends. and i care for them.

*sigh*

ok, im over being sad again. ranting can make you feel really good. haha. do i rant to much? and what is it to you if i do?

18.10.08

stupid poem.

there's this bastard,
he have no heart.
you can cry in front of him
and he still wouldn't care.

there's this bastard,
he can't be moved.
you can beg all you want,
he'll just tell you to shut it.

there's this bastard,
he hears no one.
you can explain your side
but he'll only listen to his.

there's this bastard,
he acts as if he's a god.
big news asshole,
you can and you won't EVER bring me down.

(but you already did...well whatevs!)


-10.17.08 ; 12.32am
under the ipod backlight :D

---

wrote this for you shadowfar. it's a stupid poem. it fits right? stupid poem for a stupid you. [insert the eyebrow-raising-face-mocking look here.]

*sigh*

watched sex and the city and meet the robinsons
today. nice movie. both of it. anyway, there's a really nice tagline(? should i call it that?) in the meet the robinsons movie. "keep moving forward". loved that phrase. that's exactly what i've been doing. keep moving forward. and that's what i'll continue doing. no looking back. no regrets. no blame. im deaf to what people are gon' say(i shouldn't be). :D

had a few booze last night with my dearest cousins. i love my cousins, they're the best. the best put-uppers when im down. my niece sam was there too. she's just the cutest most adorable niece! her smile is too cute! i so so love her!



---

song in my head: the man who can't be moved - the script
new song in my head!: konstantine - something corporate

16.10.08


im ok now :D

really. the matter sinked in and got lost amidst my unusually deep see of thoughts. :D

i found this really cute pic and it made me really uhm, less than happy but more than not ok. get the feeling im feeling? well whatevs.

here's the pic



cute, eh?

photo credit: hello naomi



what an inconsiderate bastard.

so i went to school today to try and fix my failed subject. me and some classmates did some begging and explained our side on why we find it hard to pass his test. we explained and begged to no avail. a few of our professors even did some begging for us. the bastard can't be budged. cried an awful lot at school. i thought i was ok with it already, apparently not.

you win some, you lose a lot.

i thought i already brought my self-esteem to the normal level then something like this happens. now im back to negative self-esteem. it doesn't help when your mom is very hard to explain to. parent's never understand their children, do they? what they don't realize is that when they're disappointed with us children because of some thing that we did, we children are even more disappointed with ourselves. that's how i feel. i feel like i've let myself down more than anyone.

while at school, i've had this terrible feeling of hmm, something. i was looking below from the second floor and i kept thinking of how it must feel to fall, to end all the pain. stupid i know, but sometimes we all feel that way. it always seem to us that we have way too much problems than we can take, when in reality it's really nothing compared to what other people are experiencing. that's what keeps me sane, thinking that what im experiencing doesn't even come close to what children in africa or other parts of the world are experiencing. im not saying that im better than them, coz we're not. we are not better than anybody no matter how well-off or how comfortable our life is. all im saying is that my failing my subjects is not a heavy enough reason to think of something horrible like ending my life, no matter how often that thought enters my head. life is good, no matter how many crap you're experiencing at the moment. there's so much more to life than school and failing grades.

there. im ok, again. i need to tell that more often to myself. :D

ps: what i hate more in consultations other than inconsiderate professors are hypocrites. hypocrites being people who passed and are trying to comfort those who failed but at the back of their heads they're just screaming and jumping for joy but still they try to look like they care and are even sad for those who failed. did i just talk gibberish there? no? yea. i hate those kind of people.

done ranting for the day.

---

song in my head: world spins madly on - the weepies

drowning.

drowning.
lost and miserable.
trying to find solid ground --
tried. failed.

drowning.
choking in tears.
gasping for air.
surfacing - failed, yet again.

drowning.
is there a way out?
should i even try?
is this all i'll ever be? (is this all there is?)

drowning.
is anyone out there?
feeling so alone.
will i ever be saved?

(from this feeling of...)


drowning.


-august 17, 2008; 10.49pm

15.10.08

failed again. fuck engineering laws.

i'm not gon' blame anyone, not even myself. im six feet below the ground right now. im so sad. so upset. so down. but not depressed. i didn't anticipate this, didn't saw it coming. i mean, i've done a pretty sweet report on that subject but still i failed. i can't believe this is happening. could this be a dream? a mean joke? a really really mean joke? i did everything i could on that subject, read all those republic acts and memorandum circulars, i even prioritized it over a quiz on computer, and still, this is what i get.

how crappy could this still get?

when i said yesterday to bring it on, i didn't mean this. i didn't even mean anything. i just wanted to say it. i didn't know that answers for asking for something like that comes really fast. please remind me not to say that phrase again.

this college thing has been ruining my life eversince i started doing it. i was so ok back in highschool. now, i've no self-esteem. i feel so stupid, worthless. i can't shift courses now, can i? i'm on my last year. although i really hate and don't understand what im doing im going to finish this course. im no quitter. quitters never win. at least for me.

i just finished crying. i really suck at this failing thing, i never get used to it. no matter how often i've failed before, im still not used to it. this whole failing thing has become too much of a routine for me. i have failed every semester since third year, first sem. except third year second sem. does this fact make me a loser? im not going to graduate on the year im supposed to graduate. does that make me a loser? im pathetic, i know. i need to get over myself.

crap crap crap. why did this have to happen now?!! at a time when my parent's are having a financial crisis. why do they have to be so kind-hearted as to lend my tuition money to other people. this suck! it really does. because of that financial thing, my guilt trip is stronger than it usually is.

it's sad how my mood goes from happy to so so upset. i was ok this morning, i wasn't even worrying about this stupid engineering laws subject. maybe that's my problem, i didn't worry about it too much. maybe i should have worried about it more than i already did.

ugh! im talking gibberish. just bear with me, i have to let this thing go before it turns into something big again. don't want to be back in that horrible dark corner which is depression.

what should i do?!!!
this is so funny. my friends showed it to me a couple of months ago (thinking of it, i think it's been a year or almost.) while we were doing our very painstaking project in engineering materials. uhm, painstaking for jc at least, we hardly did a thing. haha.

japanese are such creative people. nuff said.





told you it's funny. :D

messed up.

i messed up big time. i didn't realize it would be like this. shit. i might not graduate this summer after all. big time bummer. the allowable number overload units is 9. i have 10. and im not sure if the department will allow me to take all 10 units at the same time. bummer bummer bummer.

again, the whole world is moving and im standing still.

i thought it couldn't possibly get worse than it is. apparently, it can. and its very shiteous. life really has a way of putting you down when you already are down. i hit the ground and now im covered in dirt. could this still get fucking worse?! bring it fucking on!

im cursing too much. sorry, im so upset right now. just upset, im too numb to be depressed.


14.10.08

uhm. dunno what to call it.

"everything is not about you.", she lied.
all the tears and her gritted teeth are giving her away.
she have had enough of all the mockery.
she played the game well,
and now she's just tired.
she'll allow herself to breakdown now,
to let her guard down,
to let him see the turmoil inside her.
"i lied, im all about you."
now all her cards are down on the table.

he looked at her,
unsure of what he should do.
should he tell her that he's into her too?
he sighed.
"let's get this over with." he thought.
he put on his game face. smiled. mocking.
"get over it, you think i'd like you?"
he walked away, fighting the monster in his head.
no regrets, just another interesting day.

-10.12.08, 11.40pm

---

i don't know what made me write this. i guess it's just one of the many plots and things and shenanigans running through my busy brain. felt good to had one out. maybe i'll post another one from my journal. :D

news people can be stupid too.

this is so effin' funny. how could a reporter be as, i don't want to use the word stupid but it's the only word i could think of to describe him. sorry. xP


wtf?! from chermaine magsino on Vimeo.

i can see y'all are laughing too. haha.

12.10.08

of past feelings.

last night was so so much fun!!! except from the puking incident courtesy of someone. thank you for almost ruining the whole night for all of us. you really know how to fuck things up. oh well. anyhoo, i spilled part of my heart out last night. not to everyone, just jan. that must mean, im "kind of" drunk last night. not drunk, drunk. just tipsy. i was red all over and i was way dizzy. and i only had 1 bottle of red horse, mind you. i have such little tolerance for alcoholic drinks. it's not like i love alcoholic drinks, i mean they taste pretty awful. what i love most about drinking sessions are the bonding and the "kwentuhan". its at these times when everyone seems to be at their most honest self. no pretentions. no lies. no holding-back of emotions. just pure, raw honesty. or so that's what i believe.

uhm, had a dream the other night. it was still pretty clear to me. you in the kitchen watching mtv, me in the bathroom washing my clothes. yea, in the bathroom. clothes, meaning my bloodstained undies. an awful lot of menstrual stain. haha! am i grossing you out now? haha. anyway, that dream made me wonder.

you're the blood stain on my undies that i can't fucking remove.

gross metaphor, i know. haha.

it's not like i feel anything whenever i see the two of you together. it's just that i feel so cheated. i know you didn't intend to make me feel that way and it's my fault that i did, but i can't help it. i can't stand seeing..nevermind. ugh. im gushing about you again, i said to myself that i wouldn't. it's just that thinking bout everything, it all leads to that. that being, me feeling cheated.

let's be friends again okay? i won't feel awkward when im talking to you and i won't feel disgusted when im talking to her. i promise.

this is the part where im letting all this shitness go. for real.

this is the last entry i'll ever post about you. it's so two years ago, i should be over it. and i am. really. can't believe myself for orchestrating something that need not be orchestrated. im such a pathetic loser. but you all already know that.

---

song of the day: chicago is so two years ago - fall out boy

i know it's so 2004 (or is it 2003), but i love it. this was easily one of my favorite song, i played it about 45 times today. pretty much how i feel. well not really.

9.10.08

uh.

2 exams down. 5 more to go.

ugh! can't wait til saturday. we'll go clubbin!! haha!

song of the day: so contagious - acceptance

8.10.08

one last post before i study. :D




You Are Somewhat Like Your Mom



Believe it or not, you and your mom are pretty darn similar.

It may not seem like it at times, but you and your mom have a lot of common ground.

You and your mom do understand each other well. You may just need to work on communication.

Over time, you'll probably get closer ... especially if you emphasize the things you like about each other.

sleepy as hell.

the jeep im riding on my way home got hit by a bus. im not hurt, luckilly. what im pondering on is why i didn't feel anything. not scared, surprised, not anything. ho-hum. i guess things like that just doesn't scare me. lol

im sleepy.

i gotta study.

im feeling too sluggish.

and not to mention, lazy.

oh well, there's nothing and i mean NOTHING, a mug o' coffee can't fix.

:D wish me luck.

i badly need it.

---

song of the day: rumored nights - the academy is

ps: the sun is setting really nicely. i can see its reflection on our window pane. beautiful, just beautiful. days like this just makes me realize that life is indeed beautiful. :D

99 facts about guys. or is it?

are these true? got this from someone's blog.

*sigh*

  1. Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls. they prefer neat and presentable girls.
  2. Guys hate flirts.
  3. A guy can like you for a minute, and then forget you afterwards.
  4. When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply means you're not thinking the way he is.
  5. "Are you doing something?" or "Have you eaten already?" are the first usual questions a guy asks on the phone just to get out from stammering.
  6. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
  7. When a guy really likes you, he'll disregard all your bad characteristics.
  8. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.
  9. Guys will do anything just to get the girl's attention.
  10. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend.
  11. When guys want to meet your parents. Let them. .......dont think so
  12. Guys want to tell you many things but they can't. And they have one habit to gain courage and spirit to tell you many things and it is drinking! but do not generalise
  13. Guys cry!!!
  14. Don't provoke the guy to heat up. Believe me. He will.
  15. Guys can never dream and hope too much.
  16. Guys usually try hard to get the girl who has dumped them, and this makes it harder for them to accept their defeat.
  17. When you touch a guy's heart, there's no turning back.
  18. Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!..uh...never mind!" would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking.
  19. Guys go crazy when girls touch their hands......yeh rite - watever.
  20. Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.
  21. When a guy makes a prolonged "umm" or makes any excuses when you're asking him to do you a favor, he's actually saying that he doesn't like you and he can't lay down the card for you.
  22. When a girl says "no", a guy hears it as "try again tomorrow". ......so true.
  23. You have to tell a guy what you really want before he gets the message clearly.
  24. Guys hate gays!
  25. Guys love their moms.
  26. A guy would sacrifice his money for lunch just to get you a couple of roses.
  27. A guy often thinks about the girl who likes him. But this doesn't mean that the guy likes her.
  28. You can never understand him unless you listen to him.
  29. If a guy tells you he loves you once in a lifetime. He does.
  30. Beware. Guys can make gossips scatter through half of the face of the earth faster than girls can.
  31. Like Eve, girls are guys’ weaknesses.
  32. Guys are very open about themselves.
  33. It's good to test a guy first before you believe him. But don't let him wait that long.
  34. No guy is bad when he is courting
  35. Guys hate it when their clothes get dirty. Even a small dot.
  36. Guys really admire girls that they like even if they're not that much pretty.
  37. Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his problems with you may end up being admired by your boyfriend.
  38. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice.......very true.
  39. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.
  40. A guy finds ways to keep you off from linking with someone else.
  41. Guys love girls with brains more than girls in miniskirts. ........sumtimes.
  42. Guys try to find the stuffed toy a girl wants but would unluckily get the wrong one.
  43. Guys virtually brag about anything.
  44. Guys cannot keep secrets that girls tell them.
  45. Guys think too much.
  46. Guys' fantasies are unlimited.
  47. Girls' height doesn't really matter to a guy but her weight does!......very true.
  48. Guys tend to get serious with their relationship and become too possessive. So watch out girls!!!
  49. When a girl makes the boy suffer during courtship, it would be hard for him to let go of that girl.
  50. It's not easy for a guy to let go of his girlfriend after they broke up especially when they've been together for 3 years or more.
  51. You have to tell a guy what you really want before getting involved with that guy.
  52. A guy has to experience rejection, because if he's too-good-never-been-busted, never been in love and hurt, he won't be matured and grow up.
  53. When an unlikable circumstance comes, guys blame themselves a lot more than girls do. They could even hurt themselves physically.
  54. Guys have strong passion to change but have weak will power.
  55. Guys are tigers in their peer groups but become tamed P**** with their girlfriends.....sumtimes depends wen they want sumat.
  56. When a guy pretends to be calm, check if he's sweating. You'll probably see that he is nervous.
  57. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl. He really is.
  58. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me"......sumtimes.
  59. Guys don't really have final decisions.
  60. When a guy loves you, bring out the best in him.
  61. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him....very important.
  62. If a guy has been kept shut or silent, say something.
  63. Guys believe that there's no such thing as love at first sight, but court the girls anyway and then realize at the end that he is wrong.
  64. Guys like femininity not feebleness.
  65. Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do.
  66. A guy may instantly know if the girl likes him but can never be sure unless the girl tells him.
  67. A guy would waste his time over video games and football, the way a girl would do over her romance novels and make-ups.
  68. Guys love girls who can cook or bake. ....they love u regardless.
  69. Guys like girls who are like their moms. No kidding!......true but only wen the guys are ready 2be settled down.
  70. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.
  71. A guy's friend knows everything about him. Use this to your advantage.
  72. Don't be a snob. Guys may easily give up on the first sign of rejection.
  73. Don't be biased. Try loving a guy without prejudice and you'll be surprised.
  74. Girls who bathe in their eau de perfumes do more repelling than attracting guys.
  75. Guys are more talkative than girls are especially when the topic is about girls.
  76. Guys don't comprehend the statement "Get lost" too well.
  77. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions but still love them more.
  78. When a guy gives a crooked or pretentious grin at your jokes, he finds them offending and he just tried to be polite.
  79. Guys don't care about how shiny their shoes are unlike girls.
  80. Guys tend to generalize about girls but once they get to know them, they'll realize they're wrong.
  81. Any guy can handle his problems all by his own. He's just too stubborn to deal with it.
  82. Guys find it so objectionable when a girl swears.
  83. Guys' weakest point is at the knee.
  84. When a problem arises, a guy usually keeps himself cool but is already thinking of a way out.
  85. When a guy is conscious of his looks, it shows he is not good at fixing things.
  86. When a guy looks at you, either he's amazed by you or he's criticizing you.
  87. When you catch him cheating on you and he asks for a second chance, give it to him. But when you catch him again and he asks for another chance, ignore him.
  88. If a guy lets you go, he really loves you.
  89. If you have a boyfriend, and your boy best friend always glances at you and it obviously shows that he is jealous whenever you're with your boyfriend, all I can say is your boy best friend loves you more than your boyfriend does.
  90. Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls read and take as their basis of experience.
  91. You can tell if a guy is really hurt or in pain when he cries in front of you!
  92. If a guy suddenly asks you for a date, ask him first why.
  93. When a guy says he can't sleep if he doesn't hear your voice even just for one night, hang up. He also tells that to another girl. He only flatters you and sometimes makes fun of you.
  94. You can truly say that a guy has good intentions if you see him praying sometimes.
  95. Guys seek for advice not from a guy but from a girl.
  96. Girls are allowed to touch boys' things. Not their hair!
  97. If a guy says you're beautiful, that guy likes you.
  98. Guys hate girls who overreact. ......sometimes.
  99. Guys love you more than you love them IF they are serious in your relationships.
*sigh*

7.10.08

what?

just watched oprah on the hallmark channel. they were discussing bout bipolar disorder. there was this mom who drowned his 6 year old kid in the tub. the mom said that she doesn't have any account of her doing it to her son. poor mom. poor kid. the mom's suffering from a bipolar disorder. her disorder got way out of hand causing her to kill her own kid. sad.

*random info*
im down to my last bottle of yakult. i wish there's a 1.5L bottle of yakult. these small "bottles" are maiming my everyday life. lol.
*end of random info*

disorders. disorders.

oprah said that if you know and you can feel that there's something wrong with you, then you should ask for help before its too late. but how does one ask for help without being mocked by people who don't understand? im having a roller coaster kind of emotion for the longest time, where sometimes im so happy almos euphoric and then just a snap im in the dumps. does that even mean something? just a while ago, im starting to feel sad all over again, i dunno why. last night, i cried and i dunno why. shit, right?

i can't possibly be going nuts, can i? oh shit, i wish im not.

---

song of the day: last chance by cartel

phrase of the day: cross your t's and dot your j's.

6.10.08

tranquil. but not really.

*sigh*

hey. im calm now. i didn't realize that almost all my friends can see my blog when im trying so hard not to let anyone see it. i deleted my mybloglog account and tried everything to not make it appear on the display. everything. talk about futile attempt. it's still there! but im cool now, at least when they click the link the only thing they'll see is "page not found". haha! clever right?!! or not.

anyhoo, i've a lot of reviewing to do this week coz as all of you (or lack of any you..or whatevs) don't know, it's finals week this week. it's going to be a tough week and i just wish, for the love of everything good, that i don't break down. and yea, i wish to pass all my subjects too. i payed for the remaining balance in my tuition fee this morning. heck, it was gruelling. and hot and boring! i got there at a bout 11.45am11.30am and by the time i get to the window to pay, it was already 3am. it took me 3 long hours to pay for a P2628.88 bill! just imagine how mind blowing that was. i wasn't able to eat lunch. err.

i want a new cd. people don't buy cd's nowadays. well i want one. just because me thinks that cd's will be like, obsolete in the future. don't you?

this day was really nauseating. and it's about to get worse - im going to study. wish me luck. i so need it.

ps: i forgot what im about to ps. haha

---

i remember what im about to ps a while ago!

ps: im lovin the cab and friday night boys and the maine and the morning light and there for tomorrow. phew! that's a lot of lovin, eh? mclovin?! lol.

pps: superbad is love! haha.

ppps: wag ka feeling ok?! ang feeling mo eh. you act as if its about you, well it's not. so stop. you're a big piece of crap. and not to mention a waste of my precious, precious time.

wake up song: the world spins madly on by the weepies.
fuck! fuck! fuck!!!!!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i hate yahoo messenger!!! shit shit shit!!!! i didn't know my blog post seen by all my friends!!!! shitness!!!! fuck!!!! powta talaga!!!! im so fucking embarrassed!!! im like shaking right now! argh!

5.10.08

dear friend - marie digby

oh! here's the lyrics of the song im telling you about. just reading it makes me fucking depressed. are you reading this?!!!! you make me feel so damn depressed, ok?!!! how could you?! you could've warned me. you should've said something. you should say something - anything. please.

[lyrics]

dear friend I haven’t heard from you in ages
i wonder how you’re making out
last time we talked i felt the space growing
between us
i didn’t think you’d go so far
tell me how could you just vanish
without giving me any reasons
what were you thinking
and does this all make sense to you?

it’s hard when you don’t say anything
when i gave you everything
and still you slip right through my fingers
its hard when you don’t say anything
is this how you finish things?
because to me, this doesn’t feel like the end.. dear friend

it’s not like me to put my trust in somebody
but to you i gave it all
and if you’d asked me i would soften all your falls
but now it’s me who’s stumbling

tell me how could you just vanish
without giving me any reasons
what were you thinking?
and does this all make sense to you?

its hard when you don’t say anything
when i gave you everything
and still you slip right through my fingers
it’s hard when you don’t say anything
is this how you finish things
cause to me this doesn’t feel like the end… dear friend..

tell me how could you just vanish
without giving me any reasons
what were you thinking?
and does this all make sense to you?

its hard when you don’t say anything
when i gave you everything
and still you slip right through my fingers
it’s hard when you don’t say anything
is this how you finish things
cause to me this doesn’t feel like the end… dear friend..


emo nights

i hate being a girl sometimes.

i hate it specially on days like this. days when i feel really depressed without any reason at all. im crying and i don't even know why. i feel so fucking sad but i don't know what's causing it. does it make any sense? coz it doesn't to me. it's so unfair that only girls feel this way (is it really?). is it the hormones? maybe. whatever it is, i hate it.

im listening to this song 'dear friend' by marie digby. it's a sad song. can a song send a person to the dumps after a few minutes of listening to it? shit. i really hate this feeling - emo feeling. keith told me that im always like this, emo. he wasn't the first one to notice. i didn't know that that's how people see me. lemme rephrase that, i didn't know people can see through the giddy-always-giggly exterior that im posing. weird. i thought i was a great actress, apparently not.

anyways, last night was fun. well not fun as in the full meaning of the word 'fun', but just fun. you know, fun but not really. uhm, so-so. there. had a few drinks, actually, just one drink. i didn't feel like boozing last night. i dunno. i haven't had a decent sleep. haven't really slept, come to think of it.

*sigh* i felt really weird when someone used both the words vomit and thin in the same sentence. it hit me hard. like i started feeling that there's something majorly wrong with me. i don't do it just because i want to, i do it coz it makes me feel better. i know it doesn't make a lot of sense to any of you but it just does to me.

3.10.08

shitness.

crap. crap. oh well.

where's the love?! fuck it.

edit:

i wanted to write something substantial. i really do. i've tried writing some poems but they always turn out lame. like almost everything i do this past months or so. i want to write. maybe that's the only thing i want to do. write. write poems and then some. not do math and deal with satellites and fucking impedance and resistance. i want to write. but heck, i can't think of anything. coz for the longest time. the only stuff that fills my head is, yea, you. haha. kidding. just wanted to insert some stupid segway. by the way, that's so not true. well maybe partly true. *sigh*. i hate having the writer's block. every word that comes to my mind are lame. so damn lame. err.

i hate my course. i hate engineering. or do i? shit. im already on my last year yet im still fucking undecided. crap crap crap. this is the worst feeling ever.

help!

1.10.08

nothing to do on a cold, rainy afternoon

new layout. yay! love it.

anyhoo, yesterday, on my way home i decided to check out nbs. i went home grinning like a fucking stupid hyena. guess why?!!

i bought a book!!! a really good one. i bought "the book thief", it a YA book. hardbound. in a really really good condition. guess how much i bought it for? 160 pesos!!! its even way cheaper than the paper back one. i probably looked stupid, grinning from ear to ear, but whatevs! haha.

before that, i was really sad, mind you. i was so badly trying to catch up with someone but i was kinda torn between wanting to talk to him and wanting to ignore him. i chose the latter. im pathetic. i know.

*sigh*

mimon

i just have to rant about you. you and what you have become. what the heck happened to you? you've only been with her for a freakin year and you've already turned into someone i, we don't know. what happened huh? unbelievable. freakin unbelievable.

you used to be one of the nicest people i know. gentleman and helpful and funny and nice. a little too frugal, but that's just about it. frugal not scheming. you're not that person. you should know that.

it's not that i still like you and im being bitter - not like that i all. it's just that we've been friends, really close friends and the person you're becoming is being revealed right in front of not just me but everyone. and mind you, we're all not liking this new you.

i know you can't and probably never will read this, but i just want to ask - to none in particular but really to you (labo), what was that that you apologized for back in the retreat? coz i really didn't get it. ge? what about that? it's a blur how you can apologize for something that totally meant nothing to me and not apologize for the most obvious thing you did. leaving me hanging, that is. i kinda hated you for that. all those time, i thought you like me. maybe twas just me who's thinking that you did.

whatevs. im over it now.

*sigh*

please, bring the old you back. i miss you and our friendship. really.