30.11.08

AM Transmitter Design. check!


after days of sleepless nights, i'm finally done with that AM transmitter design bull! three more designs to go. i don't know if i'm ever going to use all these stuff in my professional life. (professional. haha!)

---

i wonder...

i wonder...

do you ever...

uhm, do you ever...

even for just a second...

do i ever...

ugh!

nevermind. i know you don't anyway. im again, just being my usual loser self.

boo!

26.11.08

wordle!


the breaking away. wordle-d.

25.11.08

argh!


i have a killer headache that won't go away. crap.

i won't blog. i won't blog. i won't blog. i won't blog.

must do AM design. must do AM design. must do AM design. must do AM design.

power supply running low.

gotta go sleep.

NO.

must stay awake. must stay awake. must stay awake. must stay awake. must stay awake.

terminate blogging.

now!

23.11.08


I wanted to tell you all my secrets but you became one instead.

-i dunno


No one likes hearing this, but sometimes the person you want the most is the person you’re best without.

-i don't know

quote.


Every time I think about you, I have to remind myself that if you wanted to talk to me, you would.

-i don't know

chempotcheng BETA

hmmm. new layout. yet again.

after learning ( on my own :D ) an awful lot about htmls, i've decided that i'm done with it. im ready to learn something new. and that something new is, yea, xml! which by the way is pretty whacked. im hating it! haha! love how the blog turned out, hate the codes. it's freakin hard to understand!!! ugh!

i'll tweak my layout a bit whenever im not busy. and that means that you'll be seeing this blog as it is for quite a while. my professors this semester are basically monsters that morphed into a human being. ugh!

i gotta find a way to balance things. im fully loaded this sem. it's going to be a really tought semester for me.

i hope i get through all of it.

21.11.08

channeling survivor philippines' nanay zita last week.err.

18.11.08

ha!

maybe i will...




or not.

lib lib lib.

2-hour break. what could be worse than a 2-hour break? oh i know. a 5-hour(and probably more) alone time at ojt. crap. i hate my ojt. err.


update:

no, i didn't spend 5 hours in my ojt, not even 4. just 3. gawd, it was very nerve-wrecking, not because i had tons to do but because there was NOTHING to do. and it was so quiet! err!


and oh, i forgot to say that i partied with chris brown and rihanna the other night. chris brown was awesome. rihanna? uhm, she was also great, just not that great. had a blast with my brother and bestie. im 700.00 poorer. and it's all good.

12.11.08

quote.


Sometimes there is a reason your past didn’t make it to your future.

— Unknown




10.11.08

wee!

ojt! finally!

tiring day!

first i went to makati to pick up the referral letter we dropped off last week, then off to pldt boni to have my papers processed, i would've still gone to pldt espana if it wasn't too late already. office hours are up to 5pm only. so i've decided to go to my old school to get my form 137-a. stupid move. the office was already locked and i can't find any of my old teachers, they could've helped me. bet they'd even find a way to open that door and get that document for me. haha!

uhmm...

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?” Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

-Marianne Williamson

first heard this on coach carter. loved it instantly. loved the movie too!

late night rendezvous. wordle-d.


cool huh?

9.11.08

why do i still care?

ugh! the mysteries of the human brain. or heart. or whatever you want to call it.

forwarded sms.


heart to heart talks.
hands together.
leaning on shoulders.
tight hugs.
goodbye kisses.
half-meant jokes.
sweet compliments.
mixed signals.
uncertain feelings.
unsaid emotions.

JUST FRIENDS.

quote.


If you love someone, tell them, because hearts are often broken by words that are left unspoken.

-i don't know.

8.11.08

blinded.

i only saw what i wanted to see,
felt what i chose to feel.
as it all turned out,
none of those were even real.


- 11.8.2oo9 ; 12.59am

note to selves by Miss-Deathwish via deviantart :D

Maybe you’re the one who tries to count the snowflakes as they fall, laughing when white flurries hit your cheeks.
You love running down the powder-dusted hills, but hate leaving footprints in your wake, because you cannot stand to look back and see that you destroyed something so beautiful. (Again.)


Maybe you’re the one who finds your best friend on his bed in a shivering mess, clutching his chest like his heart is about to fall out.
You watch as silver teardrops cling to his eyelashes, and think back to the time that you kissed his eyelids while he slept and saw how beautiful he looked even though you weren’t supposed to think so.


Maybe you’re the one who only eats the purple candies because they’re the prettiest, even though they taste like cough medicine.
You eat the red ones, too, but they taste like him, like cherries and sweet and whispers, and you decide that maybe you like the taste of cough medicine.


Maybe you’re the one who pretends to have it all, but inside, your ribs are broken and your lungs are punctured and your heart may as well be shredded into ribbons.
You don’t want to, but when he says ‘baby, you can’t say no to me’, you just sigh and your chest heaves and you say ‘I know.’


Maybe you’re the one who drives only to hear the music pulsing and blaring from the stereos of the cars around you.
You try to match your radio to theirs, but when you can’t, you surrender and try to drown out their music with your own. In the end, though, all you can hear is the clashclashclash of the two rhythms, and it secretly makes your stomach hurt.


Maybe you thought it was okay, but one day you wake up and notice that the paint is peeling off of your ceiling and that your bedroom is fucking freezing even though it’s the middle of July and that the walls really do lack any sort of decoration.
You think for a little while, and maybe it's a metaphor for your life. Falling apart and cold and empty.


Maybe you're the one who promises you won't lie to yourself anymore, but you know that’s a lie in itself.

5.11.08

my movie.

sitting alone on a busy corner.
plotting the next scene and writing the script
for the upcoming movie:
to the future - beating the odds.
it's the perfect title,
but i wonder,
will it go the way i want it to?
of course i'm the writer,
but still,
i'm not so sure.

i just hope it does.

Obama: New President Elect of USA

whoa. just finished watching Barack Obama's acceptance speech. i got the goosebumps, he's just really amazing.first african-american to be elected as president of the united states. that's pretty big, that's history.

i envy US's election process, i envy their candidates - the way McCain handled his concession was pretty commendable, so unlike what candidates here would do.

will Obama's term have an effect on the worlds' economy? will he be able to stop the war in Iraq? will he be able to help the people in Darfur?

i hope he can.

and someday, when i'm already able, i hope I can too.

i'm not saying that i want to run for something, coz i don't. i hate politics here in the Philippines and i despise almost all politicians (except for Senator Chiz Escudero, he's just too admirable!). what im saying is, i just want to be able to inflict even just a little change in this world. it doesn't have to be big or anything.

:D

4.11.08


photo credit : kellerskards

quote.

I think we’re just going to have to be secretly in love with each other and leave it at that.

-Margot Tenenbaum

1.11.08

uhm.


i want to go somewhere. somewhere far. this is so random, but really, i want to go somewhere. anywhere. i want to get out of this place. i want some new air to breathe. i want to meet new people. i want to experience new things. i want a different perspective.

damn. there's a lot of things that i want. and i don't know if i'll ever get to do all of it.

hmm.

so it's november 1st. all saint's day.

usually, we go to the cemetery. it's kind of a tradition here. a crazy tradition, i must say. crazy fun and damn annoying at the same time. i don't know why we filipinos chose to massively(?) visit the cemetery on november 1st(some do it on the 2nd) when we could visit our dead loved ones any month or day of the year. me thinks we're the only country who does it. it's funny.

uhm, so we didn't go. to the cemetery. my mom's sick. her bones are aching all over. she can't even stand on her own. it's because of this drug she's taking. fosavance. that's the drug. it's for osteoporosis. ironic isn't it? that a drug for osteoporosis can make someone ache all over. jeez. if y'all could see my mom.

oh well.

there are four candles that are lit in ou little "yard". one's for my grandpa(my mom's dad), the other is for my kuya tuto. as for the other two, call me whatever but i honestly don't know who it's for. oh! oh! i know! it's for my lola and for my mamang. yea.

hmmm.

don’t you ever feel like you’ve been destined for something bigger than your skin?

here comes that feeling again.

[sigh]

photo credit: shit i forgot. sorry.

it's my current wallpaper.

EDIT:

my left eye won't stop twitching. it's been doing this since this afternoon. it's soooo annoying!!! how do you stop a twitch?!


i do both!

im on my third book this sembreak. dayumn, im running out of books on my to-be-read pile. im down to just two. crap. i need money!!! mo' money mo' books! no money no books!

i love to read blogs! it's what i resort to when i don't have any books on my tbr pile. haha.













quote.


photo credit: 1001 rules for my unborn son

you cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.

-brian tracy

wanting it all.


She have never felt so alone, til now.
Never so empty.
She gave him her all.
She has become too submissive,
Agreeing to everything he asks.
She’s losing her self,
She doesn’t even know it.
She’s in love, oh she’s in love.
Does he feel the same way?
She knows too well that he doesn’t.
There’s no harm in trying,
No matter how desperate her act may be.
Everyone’s seeing what’s becoming of her.
Everyone’s disgusted.
She just shrugged her shoulders.
Why should she care?
She started the game,
There’s no way she’ll lose it.

She wished. Oh how she wished.

-october 15, 2008; 1:30am

---

haha. look at the pic. i don't believe it. i am so not like her. haha.

Ethics-dash-ece-laws suck.


Standing under the great big sky.

Even heaven is crying for me.

Freezing and soaking wet.


Can I ever get out of this cold, dark place?


Clouds get bigger and darker.

Where have the fluffy white ones gone?

The kind I love.


The rain is overwhelming.

Lightning sparks, thunder roars.


Get me out of this place.

It's a cruel selfish world.


I fell down far too many times.

Never thought I could get back up.


It's different this time, it seems.


The ground feels so warm,

Almost comforting,

Contrary to the rain.


What if

I don't ever want to get back up?