i love this video! it's too awww. haha!


Everybody has a secret world inside of them. All of the people of the world, I mean everybody. No matter how dull and boring they are on the outside, inside them they’ve all got unimaginable, magnificent, wonderful, stupid, amazing worlds. Not just one world. Hundreds of them. Thousands maybe.
-Neil Gaiman.

yea. if you could only see mine. it's semi-perfect. haha.


Among other things, you’ll find that you’re not the first person who was ever confused and frightened and even sickened by human behavior. You’re by no means alone on that score, you’ll be excited and stimulated to know. Many, many men have been just as troubled morally and spiritually as you are right now. Happily, some of them kept records of their troubles. You’ll learn from them - if you want to. Just as someday, if you have something to offer, someone will learn something from you. It’s a beautiful reciprocal arrangement. And it isn’t education. It’s history. It’s poetry.
-the catcher in the rye

this is my favorite book of all time. this and veronika decides to die. it both save me from me. got me out of my emotional meltdown. haha.


what should i call this one. i was never good at giving titles to my poems or anything. hmm, oh well, i was never good in writing poems so i guess it's ok. :D


i sat on the corner waiting for time to pass. i arrived first and wished that you'd get here sooner, and you did. i stared at the wall in front of me, you stared at the one opposite it.

strike a conversation or sit in awkward silence?

you said something that's too inaudible for someone with a bad ear like me to hear. i asked you to say it again but you just smiled. i said ok and everything was silent again.

strike a conversation or sit in awkward silence?

i give you an A for trying. i would not have dared to break the silence. thoughts ran through my head. pause and play. racking my brain for something stellar to say. pause. something good pops out. do i dare say it?

strike a conversation or sit in awkward silence?

as i opened my mouth, before the words come out, you stood up and said goodbye. it's amazing how time flies. i smiled and nodded. i watched your back as you walked away. i wished you've heard what i wanted to say.

strike a conversation or sit in awkward silence?


i love my mom.

When you were 8 years old, your mom handed you an ice cream.
You thanked her by dripping it all over her lap.

When you were 9 years old, she paid for piano lessons.
You thanked her by never even bothering to practice.

When you were 10 years old she drove you all day, from soccer to football to one birthday party after another.
You thanked her by jumping out of the car and never looking back.

When you were 11 years old, she took you and your friends to the movies.
You thanked her by asking her to sit on a different row.

When you were 12 years old, she warned you not to watch certain TV shows.
You thanked her by waiting until she left the house.

When you were 13, she suggested a haircut that was becoming.
You thanked her by telling she had no taste.

When you were 14, she paid for a month away at summer camp.
You thanked her by forgetting to wriite a single letter.

When you were 15, she came home from work, looking for a hug.
You thanked her by having your bedroom door locked.

When you were 16, she taught you how to drive her car.
You thanked her by taking it every chance you could.

When you were 17, she was expecting an important call.
You thanked her by being on the phone all night.

When you were 18, she cried at your high school graduation .
You thanked her by staying out partying 'til dawn.

When you were 19, she paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus carried your bags.
You thanked her by saying goodbye outside your dorm so you wouldn't get embarassed in front of your friends.

When you were 25, she helped to pay for your wedding, and she cried and told you how deeply she loved you.
You thanked her by moving halfway across the country.

When you were 50, she fell ill and needed you to take care of her.
You thanked her by reading about the burden parents become to their children.

And then, one day, she quietly died.
And everything you never did came crashing down like thunder ON YOUR HEART


reposted from my friends' multiply. this is so sad. i love my mom to bits and pieces!


I am the drug; take me, I am hallucinogenic.

-Salvador Dali when asked if he was on drugs.


The best thing about dreams is that fleeting moment, when you are between asleep and awake, when you don’t know the difference between reality and fantasy, when for just that one moment you feel with your entire soul that the dream is reality, and it really happened.



merry christmas! :D

it's christmas in less than 24 hours. merry christmas everyone! hope y'all have a good one. and, merry christmas to you too. you're an asshole and all but it still doesn't erase the fact that i still like you. haha! there. and oh, don't eat too much pie! save some of the weight gain for new year! haha!


I have wanted to kill myself a hundred times, but somehow I am still in love with life. This ridiculous weakness is perhaps one of our more stupid melancholy propensities, for is there anything more stupid than to be eager to go on carrying a burden which one would gladly throw away, to loathe one’s very being and yet to hold it fast, to fondle the snake that devours us until it has eaten our hearts away?


true. true. true.

the breaking away (edited)

-the breaking away-

your ghost towers above my head.
barely touching.

your voice reverberates in my ear.

i feel your breath at the back of my neck.
stinging my entirety.

your eyes are boring through my soul.
a stranger's glance.

your ghost it floats further away.
never looking back.


all i want is a little more than i'll ever get.

-i don't know.


Why, among all these faces, is there only one I want to see?

-Naomi Shihab Nye


Fate controls who walks into your life. You decide who you let walk out, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.


i refuse to let go. not now at least. i kinda like the feeling. im a masochist that way :|


lovin this song now more than i did before :D


Can't Believe how you set me free
The way you purify this soul don't you know
Got you into my arms now I'm never letting go
This old dog is finally home...finally home...So!

Ohh, Tell me what you want
I'll pay the price
What's money I'll roll the dice
Lose it all take the fall
Let it ride
As long as i have you at my side

Friend or foe you come to me
Wasn't sure how deep a hole i was getting into
Yet I choose to wake up every mornin with a smile of my face
Or see life for what it is one big fat race...GO!

I've played the fool
Thinking i can catch you off guard and score another night with you
But the tables have been turned
This boy's about to get burned
But before i go, i gotta know - i gotta know

Let's not forget
You kept me waiting
What can i do to get through to you
Tired of singin to myself
I need a lesson
I need a blessing
The Shoe fits all we need is a little glue
I hate what you do

Ohh, Tell me what you want
Ohh, Tell me what you want
Ohh, Tell me what you want
Ohh, Tell me what you want...fuck you...

ohh... It's been so good since i last saw you... ohh... child...
ohh... It's been so good since i last saw you... ohh...



don't know why im still afraid. if you weren't real i would make you up.

-honey and the moon by joseph arthur.

wahahahahahahaha!!! so true! haha!


maybe cupid should shoot himself with his own damn arrow. just so he can see how much love hurts.

it's been too long. i wanted to tell you. i really do. i plan to. it's just that you're such an asshole and that made me decide not to.

love this picture of me. im so vain, sorry it can't be helped. haha. thanks for the pic jhanne!
last friday was fun.

it really was.

(forgive my lack of "feelings" in my sentences. hehe)

my friday activities were, hmmm...ah

1. a very sleep deprived me. worked on my fm design til almost 6am.
2. went to school to pass my fm design.
3. hang out with jhunmark and aya at plaza calderon. had some girl bonding moments. haha.
4. went to my last ever (hopefully) paskuhan at school. had so much fun. bamboo rocked ust. ira cruz was way way perfect and bamboo's voice was mesmerizing. really! i love them!
5. went to guilly's bar with my friends. we arrived there at about 11pm i think, and left at 445am. i should party more often. haha. no, seriously.

so there. i got home at almost 6am. woke up at 6pm. talk about well rested. well no, i woke up more tired than when i dozed off. weird. it's always like that, sleep i mean.

oh oh. my cousins and i had our annual christmas party last sunday. it wasn't as fun as last year but it's still good. good food+good booze+great cousins=fun fun fun.

im blank. so bye.



Kisses are like tears, the only real ones are the ones you can’t hold back.

no quote for this one. it's just too cute for words. haha


every hearts bleed and even angels are allowed to cry.

I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do.

-Edward Everett Hale


love is the person you think about during the sad songs.
guilly's bar last night. fun fun fun! had a few drinks. by few, i mean 2 bottles of beer. 2 bottles that i didn't even finish. haha. im so weak when it comes to drinking. it was hella fun. :D


330 in the AM

yea! still awake. still jumpy, must be the coffee. err.


it's stupid to think of you.
your voice, your smell
the way you look,
like you just got out of hell.
you're a bunch of crap
and i don't know why i still care.
maybe it's meant to be like this,
me caring to much and you being you.
i should leave it like that,
stop thinking too much.

i'm talking gibberish.
im stopping now.


the words that spill out of my head in the wee hours of the morning are damn stupid. crappy. i'll post it anyway. it's impulse that made me type it. i don't mess with my impulses, no matter how stupid they are.

i'll go to bed in 30 minutes. promise. i wish.


practice makes perfect. but nobody's perfect. so why practice?

makes sense, right?


it would be really really nice to sit outside and stare at one of my favorite things in the world - stars. it would really be perfect. clear night sky, not a fluff of clouds, just the stars. a lot of them. i rarely see that these days. it would really really be perfect. it's something i never get to do anymore, except when im in the province - it's all i ever do there. perfect except for the fact that i can't coz i have to do this stupid FM transmission and station design. it's due this friday, so much for stargazing. err.



back to now.

photo credit: jajan :D

baguio was uber fun. twas all too good to last. i've had the best time with my good friends. totally analog. except for some few minutes of television. it was pure bliss, except for some annoying people. haha!

*random question*

how does someone fall in love?

*end of random question*

the mysteries of the human heart. err. haha.

oh, i got wasted on the last night of the trip. we drank gin. haha. i was too wasted to drink tequilla after 2 bottles of gin. jajan is one tough chick, i don't think she even got dizzy after all that drinking. haha.


i forgot to say this: BAGUIO WAS FREAKING COLD!!! you won't be able to take a bath without the heater. but because me and my friends are crazy (or maybe just plain stupid), we took a dip in the hotel pool which is pretty much like swimming in a cooler of iced water. i had sore throat the whole trip, and my voice went on vacation too. i got sick this morning - fever. suck.


haven't written a thing in my journal for weeks now. gotta go analog for at least a day. i'm becoming to attached(?, it's not the word im looking for but it suffice. hehe) to the internet, it's not good. not healthy. gotta go back to reading a book. there are two books that're waiting to be finished.

im sleepy. gotta go.
disqus is a failure on my blog. for whatever reason, it just wont work.



i can't stop watching. i am so going to learn that dance. :|


There’s a little truth behind every just kidding, a little curiosity behind every just wondering, a little knowledge behind every I don’t know, and a little emotion behind every I don’t’ care.


tikman mo ang kamao! (eat my fist!)

photo info: manny's official nike logo

actually, tikman is taste in english but eat my fist sounds a lot better. hehe

ugh! this is so frustrating! i'm not a fan of boxing, but not being able to watch the pacquiao-dela hoya match is really really maddening! i can't find any live streming online. uhm, i did find a site but my fucking internet connection isn't fast enough for the streaming! err! guess i just have to use my imagination, im listening to it on AM radio. ugh!

round 9! dela hoya conceded! haha!!! he's such a big wuss! haha! kidding.

way to go pacman - the number one pound per pound boxer in the world, the pride of the Philippines!!!


now i'm off to divisoria.

PS: dela hoya is a gentleman, the way he accepted defeat. and as always, manny's english speaking "skills" is damn annoying. hahaha! but i have to say, he IS improving. hehe


Never judge yourself based on someone elses inability to love themselves, much less someone else.

tried and tried. for too long. it just won't work.

disqus on my blogger, i mean. xP


It’s hard to give up a memory. No matter what comes after, it’s impossible to forget a small moment of happiness, to admit that it was a fluke, an isolated moment in time with no chance—because our lives are not circular—of reeling around again.


Love is a thing, well, it’s kind of like quicksand: The more you are in it, the deeper you sink. And when it hits you, you’ve got to fall.



although we're of the same wavelength, being too close interferes with the signal.

i hate this feeling. im so totally trying to not think about you but you almost always come up with something - without you realizing it, to make me think about you more. life is so full of freakin coincidences, it's not even funny anymore. i know it's just me that thinks about all these bullcraps and you don't even give a shit about it, it's driving me nuts. it's just that even though you didn't know that i would be feeling like this, you should've given me a warning. i'm a girl. that's should be SOP. you should've put a big sign on you forehead. something that says..uhm, i dunno.."don't get it all mixed up"? err.

im stupid like that.

or maybe i just fall way too fast.

i don't think, i just take the plunge.

shouldn't it be like that? fast and foolish.

wish you'd felt the same.

or not.


i don't get me sometimes. i could go from not thinking to thinking too much. it's annoying.

heck, it's been too long. i think from now on, i should start moving on.

it rhymes. it's a sign. haha.


off to some non-depressing topic. we're going on a field trip from tuesday til friday! weee! the batch'll be going to baguio and subic. it's gon' be a wicked 4-day trip! something interesting is bound to happen. imma start packing, prolly tomorrow. i'm having trouble on what i should bring. err.

ojt tomorrow. that means that again, my brain'll rot for a day. ugh!



tired tired tired!

just got home from work, OJT actually.

haha! if sitting around watching prison break and staring at the ceiling between breaks is called work, then ok, i just got home from "work". bert, jm and i sat there and rot our brains to boredom for five hours. it was the longest five hours of my life! haha! imagine sitting there for fourteen hours like what i do during sundays and mondays. it's mentally exhausting, im telling you, not doing anything can make you even more tired than when you're actually doing something.

it's 12.31am. i have a class at 9am. i should be sleeping, but i can't get myself to shut this thing down. i haven't gone online for like a whole week. i went semi-analog. hehe.

*brain nugget*

what happened to our friendship? why is it that silence become really painfully awkward between us? what's with the looking at inanimate objects out for? you've changed a lot.

*end of brain nugget*

uhm. can't think of anything more to type. im sleepy and tired. so ta-ta!

ps: the picture is so totally out of topic. but i love it anyway. :D