what do you do when you don't feel like doing something even when this something is THE something? do you quit? or do you make yourself want to do it? what if you want to do it but you don't really feel it. you know that feeling in your gut when you really want something? what if it's not there? what do you do? what should i do? i've wanted this for the longest time. for as long as i can remember, but my gut doesn't seem to feel the same way. what if i force this and i fail? what if? what? oh crap.


quiapo!!! mag-quiapo tayo!!! i want...no, i NEED those dvds! sasabog na puso ko!!! haha! NEED!!! wala kase sa torrent eh...haha! review review! tsssssss!!!!! who needs that?! pang weak lang un!!! bwahahaha! joke lang. first day ng review test agad. aaaahhhh!!!! dvds! dvds!!!!


The best thing, though, in that museum was that everything always stayed right where it was. Nobody’d move… . Nobody’d be different. The only thing that would be different would be you.

-J.D Salinger, Catcher In The Rye.

haha. i just retracted my previous post. hopefully i'm lucky enough that no one was able to read that coz heck that was embarrassing. haha!


Today, I graduated from college and my parents gave me an apple. Not the computer, the fruit. FML

haha! this made me laugh so hard! i'm officially done with school today, luckily, unlike him/her, i won't be getting an apple. hihi!
credit: todayslyrics

glass - gavin degraw


That’s the whole trouble. You can’t ever find a place that’s nice and peaceful, because there isn’t any. You may think there is, but once you get there, when you’re not looking, somebody’ll sneak up and write “Fuck you” right under your nose. Try it sometime.

The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger


A boy and a girl can be just friends, but at one point or another, they will fall for each other… Maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late, or maybe forever.

Dave Matthews

really great time to not be the girl who speak in babbles. too bad this is the last time we'll ever get to talk or even see each other. i think.

crush mode over. hehe


This life is yours. Take the power to choose what you want to do and do it well. Take the power to love what you want in life and love it honestly. Take the power to walk in the forest and be a part of nature. Take the power to control your own life. No one else can do it for you. Take the power to make your life happy.

Susan Polis Schutz


let's go to quiapo. i want to hoard dvd's. lets!


The saddest kind of sad is the sad that tries not to be sad. You know, when Sad tries to bite its lip and not cry and smile and go, “No, I’m happy for you”? That’s when it’s really sad.

John Mayer

credit: graphiclyrics

the academy is - about a girl.

i've been in love with the band for the longest freakin time. i don't understand why they don't love me back. i mean, why don't they come visit me here?!! even for just a day?!!!!!!

the academy is! come here already!!!!
You will hear it and no one else will, like your soul wears headphones and only it can hear the music.

-i wrote this for you


You Are Tired (I Think) by e.e. cummings

You are tired,
(I think)
Of the always puzzle of living and doing;
And so am I.

Come with me, then,
And we’ll leave it far and far away—
(Only you and I, understand!)

You have played,
(I think)
And broke the toys you were fondest of,
And are a little tired now;
Tired of things that break, and—
Just tired.
So am I.

But I come with a dream in my eyes tonight,
And I knock with a rose at the hopeless gate of your heart—
Open to me!
For I will show you places Nobody knows,
And, if you like,
The perfect places of Sleep.

Ah, come with me!
I’ll blow you that wonderful bubble, the moon,
That floats forever and a day;
I’ll sing you the jacinth song
Of the probable stars;
I will attempt the unstartled steppes of dream,
Until I find the Only Flower,
Which shall keep (I think) your little heart
While the moon comes out of the sea.




I pulled the phone into the bed and slept for three days. At intervals I would open my eyes long enough to remember and then I’d drop back into unconsciousness. In dreams I knew I was tunneling toward her - if I could only dig deep enough, I would find her. The tunnels narrowed as I crawled through them, until they became impossibly knotted strands of hair that I could only tear at.

-Miranda July

i'm days late on this and i wasn't able to watch the game. yay for roger!!!

the look on rafa's face - priceless! haha!
ugh!!!! blanko na naman! please don't ever talk to me again. the more you talk to me, the more i make myself look even more stupid. from now on, i do all the talking (without looking at you) and you do nothing. that ok?! that way, you'd think i'm brilliant and not just some weird girl who speak in babbles. haha.

crap. crushness mode. sorry. i'm a girl. it's what i do.

well not really. haha



credit: kuroi-tsuki

whoa. kenny is hot. haha


It is no surprise to me that hardly anyone tells the truth about how they feel. The smart ones keep themselves to themselves for good reason. Why would you want to tell anyone anything that’s dear to you? Even when you like them and want nothing more than to be closer than close to them? It’s so painful to be next to someone you feel strongly about and know you can’t say the things you want to.

— Henry Rollins


I also hate people to ask cheerfully how you are when they know you’re feeling like hell and expect you to say ‘Fine.’

— The Bell Jar, Sylvia Plath

yea, tell me about. suckers.
acted a little weird. no, i acted too damn weird.
noticed? hope not.
i wonder if you notice that i don't speak as much as i do whenever i'm around you?


Emily, I'm flat broke. I don't have a job. I don't have a plan. I know I'm probably six years too late, but will you give me strike one back?

-oliver, a lot like love

i may have posted this some years or months ago, but i don't care. i love the movie and this particular quote. i think it's really sweet. tee-hee.


i'm having a major reader's block. err. i feel so bad.

the blockage applies to reviewers too. i'm gon' be so fucked up on monday.



“Just one thing,” she says, raising her head and looking me straight in the eye. “I want you to remember me. If you remember me, then I don’t care if everyone else forgets.”

Kafka on the Shore, Haruki Murakami

Where are his glasses? He can't see without his glasses!

thomas j. and vada

damn, i love this movie. it's too awesome, and if you've read the book, you'll love it even more. i cry my eyes out every time i watch the movie. i remember the first time (and only time) i read the book, i was in school and i was crying in the corner like an idiot. hehe. hope i could spot this in booksale.

this is the poem that vada recited in Mr. Bixler's class for thomas j.

Weeping willow with your tears running down
why do you always weep and frown?
Is it because he left you one day?
Is it because he could not stay?
He found shelter in your shade
You thought his laughter would never fade.
On your branches, he would swing
Do you long for the happiness that day would bring?
Weeping willow, stop your tears
for there is something to calm your fears;
If you think death has ripped you forever apart
I know he'll always be in your heart.
the best way to run into traffic...

It does not count if you believe in yourself when it's easy to believe in yourself. It does not count if you believe the world can be a better place when the future looks bright. It does not count if you think you're going to make it when the finish line is right in front of you.

It counts when it's hard to believe in yourself, when it looks like the world's going to end and you've still got a long way to go.

That's when it counts. That's when it matters the most.

credit: i wrote this for you
the place i'm in...

You cannot kill me here. Bring your soldiers, your death, your disease, your collapsed economy because it doesn’t matter, I have nothing left to lose and you cannot kill me here. Bring the tears of orphans and the wails of a mother’s loss, bring your God damn air force and Jesus on a cross, bring your hate and bitterness and long working hours, bring your empty wallets and love long since gone but you cannot kill me here. Bring your sneers, your snide remarks and friendships never felt, your letters never sent, your kisses never kissed, cigarettes smoked to the bone and cancer killing fears but you cannot kill me here. For I may fall and I may fail but I will stand again each time and you will find no satisfaction. Because you cannot kill me here.

credit: i wrote this for you


uhm, ma'am bea (my IT prof) ? is that you?

someday i'm gonna move out and i'm going to have an apartment similar to this. i hope. hehe


so i'm weird and awkward.

i hope you find that endearing.

and oh, i just read my horoscope today. if heaven decides to give you to me, i wouldn't mind. not at all! even though you are what you are and even though the top of my head barely reaches your shoulders when i'm on my tippy toes.

ahaha! ugh!!!! i'm in a total crush-ed mode!!! haha! it's like high school over again. hahaha!
could that be more pathetic?!

"ugh!" was that all i could say?! that with a confused-eyebrow-raised-trying-to-look-cool expression painted all over my face. i'm so annoyed with myself right now. i could've said something brilliant to like, i dunno, start a conversation maybe? i'm so bummed. he probably thinks i'm weird or something.

crap. i sound like a high school girl. tsss...


hey. i was making a reviewer for the FINAL final exam of my college life, then i got really bored and decided to blog instead. But i can't think of anything to talk about. isn't it weird that sometimes too many stuff runs through our freakishly awesome head and at other times it's just completely empty. hmmm. like now.

*random thought (a good thing, coz this means that my head isn't at all empty)*

i don't understand virginia wolfe's a room of one's own. i really don't. it's like a foreign language, too deep for my brain to grasp. or maybe i should just read on, coz i haven't read everything yet.

ok, back to work.


just finished reading kafka on the shore by haruki murakami. i had a tough time getting started coz the book looks like it has no margin and has teeny tiny print. but when i finally get my self to start, i can't seem to stop. it's a really nice read. i didn't understand some parts coz it was pretty deep but i really liked it. the book makes a lot of sense.

quotations from the book to be posted tomorrow. hehe :D
people assume and it's only natural. sometimes people think too much of what you say. they dig way deeper than they have to, and that's okay. but sometimes, thing have to be taken for what it is and nothing more. sometimes what it is, is just what it is. no need to look deeper, dig into the words, to find meaning - none of that.

come to think of it, when people does that to me i should get hurt, right? coz when i say things over and over again and they still don't believe it, that's pretty hurtful, right? coz it's like they don't even believe you even when you're being pretty blunt and honest about things. it could be really annoying. just sayin.


okay. fyi, that was a rant. just have to get that out. you know i love you all. hehe. hugs!


the top 15 most bizarre sea animals.

credit: click on this see more.

i hate sharks. but i hate it more just to think that a shark looking like that lurks in the ocean. *shivers* and that fish will surely be one of the stars in my dream tonight. oh, i mean nightmare.

sweet dreams everyone.

hey jude.

TMobile made 13,500 people to sing hey jude. amazing. globe should do this too! haha


HIPHOP ABS IS THE SHIT!!! i tried it last sunday and i got hooked! it's super fun! specially when my mom tries to do the moves but desperately fails. haha! if i don't lose weight on this then i don't know what will!
i miss gilmore girls.


can you say "irish wristwatch" properly? i know i can't. hehe
i gained about a thousand pounds in less than a month. FML.


“Take pride in your pain. You are stronger than those who have none.”

Lois Lowry

another one of the many books that i plan to have. this (gathering blue) and the giver.


manny pacquiao

i don't even like boxing (and manny pacquiao), and yet, here i am blogging about manny pacquiao. again.

i can't believe the fight was over in only two rounds. TWO freakin rounds! while everyone thought it was going to be a very nice even fight, manny pacquiao threw a punch and proved us all wrong. coz it wasn't even a fight, ricky hatton was too lame of a fighter for pacman(imho, coz based on what i've watched, the way hatton looked, he clearly was no match for pacman).

“He did beat Oscar who is bigger than me, but he had nothing that night. If I had boxed Oscar then I would have beat him even quicker."-hatton

*snort* at least Oscar dela Hoya lasted 8 rounds.

that was a well-deserved total knock-out for you mister hatton for underestimating our pambansang kamao!

in your freakinly dazed-post-knock-out-looking face!


and with that i bid thee goodnight!

i will not bend, i will not break.

-dashboard confessional
why make an effort when every time i do, something seems to be always wrong with it? might as well sit around and do nothing, right?!


People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that’s holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake.”

-Elizabeth Gilbert


be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.

-Philo of Alexandria


i bought books but haven't read any of it yet. i have to turn off this thing and get my ass off of this chair. soo unlike me to have books lying around, left unread. err. the internet is swallowing me whole. books, save me!

*random thought*

i want a tattoo. a small black one on the wrist or nape. that'll be so freaking awesome. i just don't know what kind of small black thing it is that i want. or if i really want one at all.

*end of random thought*



credit: audreyhepburncomplex

too much grey's anatomy quotes today. gawd, i love that show!


No matter how hard you fight it, you fall. It’s scary as hell. Except there’s an upside to the free fall. It’s the chance you give your friends to catch you.

-Grey's Anatomy

that's why i love my friends. they catch me. and a particular one lets me fall til i'm ready to be caught.

this one's for her. :D


Doesn’t matter how tough we are, trauma always leaves a scar. It follows us home, it changes our lives, trauma messes everybody up, but maybe that’s the point.

-Grey's Anatomy


Pain, it comes in all forms. The small twinge, a bit of soreness, the random pain that we live with everyday. Then there is the kind of pain you just can’t ignore, a level of pain so great that it blocks out everything else, makes the rest of your world fade away until all we can think about is how much we hurt, how we manage our pain is up to us. We anesthetize, ride it out, embrace it, ignore it, and for some of us the best way to manage pain is to just push through it.

-Grey's Anatomy


Chin up. Shoulders back. Walk proud. Strut a little. Don’t lick your wounds; celebrate them. The scars you bear are the signs of a competitor. You’re in a lion fight. Just because you didn’t win doesn’t mean you don’t know how to roar.

-Grey's Anatomy

i really love this quote. it's like it's talking to me.


How do you know how much is too much? Too much too soon. Too much information. Too much fun. Too much love, or too much to ask of someone? When is it all just too much for us to bear?

-Grey's Anatomy


Communication. It’s the first thing we really learn in life. The funny thing is, once we grow up, learn our words and really start talking, the harder it becomes to know what to say. Or how to ask for what we really need.

-Meredith Grey, Grey's Anatomy

ube. (ultimate bonding experience.)

credit: ssomuchlove

hanged out with two of the best girls in the world. we gave some lovin to our often times ignored footsies. we had a VERY tickling foot spa then we had our toe nails done. there were soo many chikas to tell! i won't dish out what those chikas are here coz it's PG18, as most of our conversations are. hehe. and as always, those two girls kept on bugging me about my non-exsistent love life. they always pick on me when it comes to that subject. it's not fair. there's also rheegie, we could've picked on her, but no, it always has to be me. so what if i don't have somebody? yet? it's not a big deal for me, i dunno why it is for them. hehe. those girls. they love me too much! to the point of me always being exasperated with them. haha! wish we could do that more often. i really miss those moments. i love that we could tell each other how fat we all are without it being such a big deal. haha!

next girl bonding moments: august. tagal! can't wait! gotta save up big time. coz we're going to bring the spa down! haha!


credit: superbarbs

to that time please.
i just had porksilog(porkchop, garlic rice and sunny side-up-egg) for midnight snack. that's not good, but hell, it taste so good! haha!


And even if somebody else has it much worse, that doesn’t really change the fact that you have what you have. Good and bad.

-The Perks of Being a Wallflower


I just need to know that someone out there listens and understands and doesn’t try to sleep with people even if they could have. I need to know that these people exist.

— Charlie, The Perks Of Being A Wallflower, Stephen Chbosky

i was so ready to buy this at Bestsellers in Galleria last week coz the saleslady said they have one in stock. she took too long in looking before deciding to look for it in their computerized catalog. there was no book in stock. crap. i was hunting this book down for too long! maybe i'll come back next week or the week after next. hopefully they'll have one in stock for me. hehe



Usually when people are sad, they don’t do anything. They just cry over their condition. But when they get angry, they bring about a change.

-Malcolm X
just got home from rjay's house. gawd, i forgot how good hanging out with my friends feels. truly, absence really does make the heart go fonder. tomorrow, i'll be meeting with lha and khaye. yay! :D