21.1.13

Do you ever feel like cutting ties with certain people because being around them is just tiring, but you never do coz it wouldn't feel right? For them? Well maybe a little for you too. Maybe searching for my options somewhere else isn't too much of a bad idea. Go some place and never come back. I wish I were braver. Tougher. I really don't like me and what I am right now. And every one else is not being much of a help. I hate me. I hate how my life is turning out to be. This is so not how I imagined it would be. I hate me for not doing anything about it. Why am I not doing anything about it? Why am I too afraid of taking the first step? My giant leap of faith? I'm a fucking coward and I hate me for that. You can't judge me. Everything is easier said than done. 

Tomorrow, I'll forget about this. I'll wear the same fucking smile like I always do, and it'll start all over again. The fucking cycle of getting nowhere. 
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