13.4.14

I'm ok. I'd like to think that I'm happy. I think I am. I just have a little issue. In my head, I've never thought I'd live to this age and I now i don't really know what to do? (I'm over using the question mark but whatever) for as long as I can remember (not really, grade school days) I've had an obsession? With dying young. I dunno why. I've alway thought its better than dying of old age. Less drama, less hardships. But I dot really feel that way now. Why is it so hard to fucking explain your own feelings? It's so weird. I'm ok but my thoughts are on it's dead end. Can't day dream past this age. Haha. I guess this is what living each day as it comes is. It's kinda scary and nice. Whatever. Why can't I construct proper sentences. Ugh.